Dedicated to all wives, who feel unappreciated, you know who you all are.. thank you for sharing your story..
She starts her day with a prayer, that she may untiringly do her chores for the day. She gets up at four, prepares breakfast for the whole family, a husband and three big boys, can be quite a handful!
With kids now at school, and husband at work, she stares at a corner and visualize her typical day, a routine that she has been living all her life. She snaps out of it, shakes her head and tells herself that she can do this, and that this is what she was born to do, to take care of her family.
After cleaning the house, she glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, It's 8 am and now time to do the laundry, she goes from one bedroom to another, hoping for some great miracle that those laundry hampers would ever turn out empty. No miracle, she thought..
By 10am she would have been finished with the laundry, just enough time for a quick snack and her favorite morning show, she turns the television on, puts her feet up on the black leather ottoman, and enjoys her bacon flavored biscuit and tea, just like that, and the only time to look forward to for the day is almost done.
She would sometimes fall asleep while watching tv, but because this woman seem to have been implanted with a chip of some kind.. an auto human alarm maybe, she wakes up, just in time to fix lunch, she cannot afford to lose time, her husband is such a strict disciplinarian when it comes to managing time, she doesn't want to displease him.
1pm, just finished eating lunch alone, she then feeds Rusco, their 2 year old pitbull, she waits for him to finish eating and do his thing, so that she could clean it right away and move on to her next task.
2pm, she starts collecting the fresh smelling clothes neatly hung on the clothesline, they look like multi colored "banderitas" from afar. Three full, big baskets collected, she then neatly fold each of them, and places them back to every closet.
4pm, she stretches up a bit, took a quick bath, grabs a book and snacks on some oats and raisin cookies, she's on page 5 of a book she recently borrowed from a friend, she's tempted to read some more, but she can't! she closes the book, it's almost 5pm and the boys will be coming home from school any minute now.
5pm, her boys are here, and what took her hours to clean the house, took only a few minutes for the boys to mess it up again, books all over, socks and shoes on the floor, she tells them to tidy up as she prepares their dinner.
7pm, she prepares the table, she cooked "chicken adobo" and "stir fry bean sprouts" for dinner. She hears the car and husband is here, she moves as if everything should be in fast forward, she calls James, their "first born" to open the gate as she hurries to go to the bathroom, she looks at herself in the mirror, combs her hair, put some lipstick on and dabs a little on her cheeks to add some color to her pale skin, smiles at herself and sprays on some cologne to freshen up. She hurries to approach her husband and gets his bag, removes his socks and shoes, and hands him over his slippers. He said that he won't be eating dinner tonight, he's so tired and he just wants to sleep. He takes his bag back, gets his cellphone and takes it with him in the bathroom.
9pm, she's finished with the dishes, she helps John, their youngest with his homework, she tucks him to bed.
10pm, she took a quick shower before going to bed, she stares at her husband, sleeping like a baby, but snoring like a? she dismisses the thought.. she then says her night prayers, she needs all the strength for another day of mom and wife duties, she kisses her husband goodnight so careful not to wake him up, turns off the light, it's 11pm.
It's the start of the week again and by heart she vows to have a positive attitude no matter what, she's still preparing the kids lunch for school and she hears husband start the car engine, he hears him talking to Susy, their next door neighbor who's taking her dog for a walk, telling her that she lost some weight and that she's looking good with her new do.. He calls on the kids to get in the car, no goodbye kisses for her she thought.
She tries to do all the chores a little faster this time, she wanted to go to the salon and get herself a haircut, she hadn't have some for a long time, but soon as she got herself some thinking.. how she could buy a fancy food to cook for dinner tonight with the money that she would spend for that haircut, she quickly changes clothes and grabs some scissors and trimmed her own hair instead.
Dinner is ready and Veronica is feeling romantic with her evening setting, made sure the kids ate early so that she could tuck them early to bed, she's wearing her favorite dress that her mother got her on her last birthday, she turns the radio on to set the mood, it's already 9pm and still no husband in sight, she tucks the little one to bed, she feels so sad that she wants to cry, the little one kissed her goodnight, and told her.. "Mommy, you have bangs?" did you cut your own hair? she holds him tight, kisses him goodnight and stayed with him through the night.
The next morning, she tries to act as if everything is normal, she was waiting for him to ask her why she didn't sleep at their bedroom last night, she gives him his coffee, hoping and praying he would look at her and finally notice her new do, the same way he noticed Susy's, but he was just too busy reading the newspaper, she didn't have the guts to ask him why he came home late last night, she's got too much respect for this man who works for the family, she tries to understand him, but while she continue to do that.. she began to feel so low, looks at herself as inferior, and felt ugly...
dearmum
dearmum is all about a mom's adventure, lifestyle, choices,thoughts and the greatest proof that moms need fun time too to be able to maintain a happy home for her family..
Monday, April 20
Monday, December 8
DIY Christmas decoration ideas... Wine bottle candle holder
'Tis the season to be Jolly! Tralalalala lalalala! And Yup! Christmas is just around the corner, and while those flashy Christmas decorations in the Malls are so nice to look at, eye candy and all... budget conscious moms are sometimes left with the feeling of.. I really want it! but, can I afford to buy it? Hmm! actually... we don't have to buy at all! all we need is a little imagination and creativity!
So, Let's get it on fellow Moms! hoping to unleash the creativity in you!
Christmas decoration project part 1 (Wine bottle candleholder)
I have long been a fan of glass bottles, in fact, whenever I finish drinking from one, I can't seem to just throw them away! and like a much treasured gem, or to better describe the feeling, remember a scene from Casper the movie wherein, Casper the friendly ghost whispered to Kat "can I keep you?" well.. it's almost, almost the same feeling I get especially when I see unique shapes and forms and different colors? I just gotta keep it! You can call me sentimental anytime, and I will just agree with you on that one, after all.. just think how those bottles were made in the first place, they are actually special! and so one morning I just woke up wit this idea in mind, why not make something useful out of these bottles that are beginning to take some space in my cabinet, Thus the birth of this project!
It is quite easy to make actually, all you have to do is to clean those bottles, gather all the available resources in your home, old ribbons, (I keep all the ribbons tied around the cake boxes that we buy)
old home decorations that you have kept but is not using anymore because of some reason, I have my two steel table top decoration that I kept because the small glass vase that it used to have was broken when my husband and son were playing target shooting, Uhhhh, Boys! and It's converted to a candleholder now, and some other materials like this gold sequin beaded patches from a vintage gown that I wore on a "Santacruzan" (a Filipino religious festivity) when I was younger, the gown is in bad shape but not the beautiful patches so I patiently tore the patches one by one.
The following photos are a living proof that everything is doable, and another bonus for this project is that it is economical and more importantly earth friendly! Pls. Recycle! :)
Can you guess what wine bottle this used to be? Johnny b good!
this one is already a beauty the way she is.. all it needed is a tiny red bow and it's good to go!
Wednesday, November 26
A Seafarer wife's dilemma
I watch her leave with tears in my eyes.
for in that journey she takes the love of my life..
It's a vicious cycle that I have to endure,
With each day passing.. the sadness is a torture
So tell me my darling, do you feel the same?
I am filled with fears, every time you go away,
What if someone's there, ready to take my place?
Will you be true to your promise? it's a guessing game..
Don't think that I never had temptations.. but, I remain to be true
Is it wrong for me to expect the same from you?
Always remember.. We are a family, and we're counting on you..
And until then, as she leaves the shore with you..
I wish nothing but clear skies and calm seas for you to sail on to...
Statue of a woman waiting on shore in Rosses Pt. Sligo Ireland
( In it writes...)
Lost at sea, lost at sea
Or in the evening tide
We loved you, we miss you
May God be with you abide.
The "Waiting on Shore" monument depicts a woman holding her arms out to sea, you can almost feel her sadness and anguish, longing and waiting for the love of her life's safe return as she looks out at sea.
Monday, September 16
Rumors, Politics and Conscience
Our whole nation has recently been bombarded with terrible news, not to mention natural calamities, which is a constant visitor in our country, (yes, name it we have it!) and just recently the crisis in Zamboanga, which makes us often wonder... does the word "Peace" really exist?
But with all that has been happening to our country, the Filipino People can't seem to get enough of the "PDAF SCAM" and of course the alleged "Pork barrel queen" in the person of Janette Napoles. This is one scandal that triggered public outrage.
Imagine with all those money, no one could have known that we had that kind of money all along, cash flow so tremendous in quantity that one can't help but wonder... why is there so much poverty everywhere?
Now that Janet Napoles is in custody, everyone is furiously curious where this would lead to, it gets dirtier and dirtier with Politicians slowly being added one by one to this scam. Some are not surprising at all, but others known for their Patriotism and Gallantry, one can only sigh with a jaw dropping WHAT?
I watched the "CORONA IMPEACHMENT" with such pride and fascination to the noble Senators as they try to right what was wrong, and now those said personalities are being dragged on bigger issues, I am left with a question, how can they even look at each other' s eyes in the Senate if those rumors about them are true? Of course, they must've known what each of them are up to, they even swear on the bible for God's sake! Is there one single soul left in there that can be trusted?
Politics to me is pretty much like networking, they build pyramids in the form of their allies, the more the more powerful, conspiracies and coverups with numerous testimonials to listen to. Anything to persuade you to be on their team, But if only people can be smart enough to spot what is, from what is not, then perhaps we won't be easily deceived.
On choosing sides? I think it is always smarter to stay neutral, it's not always being "balimbing" especially if all you hear is only the half side of it, research and observe! and when forced to choose? always choose by conscience, because your conscience will never deceive you, heart, sometimes does...
While a Probe on this could go on forever and I will not be surprised if it dies a natural death, with most of us having short memories, whether selective or not.
I still want to be positive, but circumstances inhibit me to do so.. Do we still have hope for our ailing nation? If we truly want change, then let's start with ourselves, what was our contribution to our society? can we guarantee that we will never be corrupt if we have been on those government positions? time to ask ourselves, have you never, even for once in your life bribe anyone so that you can go first in line despite of other people more deserving than you? have you never ever done any favor for a friend or a relative that inclined you to do what you were not supposed to do? did you not receive any form of monetary reward in exchange for your votes? I think it's much clearer now... we all contributed. So the next time somebody asks you for favors or bribes you for any matter... say NO!
Now, that's when the real CHANGE happens...
Monday, January 7
New Year, new hope..
Goodbye 2012! I am so glad to see you go, hello 2013! It is so nice to meet you! Will you be good to me? I certainly hope so!
I am such a fan of Chinese astrology and just like most people do when a New year is about to start, surf the web again I go as I try to see what this year has in store for me, and..
Read about this and understood more why me and my sweetheart are crazy about each other.. because sometimes you can't find a reason why right? just a coincidence? maybe! but it's still a good read.
Often, we always believe what we want to believe anyway.. oh well.. as long as it is favorable I guess, right?
me in the Horse year and sweetheart in the Tiger year. here goes...
Horse and Tiger
This relationship lives of its extreme erotic passion which is by far not all it is made of! But generally it is the sexual attraction which makes the difference here. On base of this connection a deep and mutual respectful partnership emerges. Something both will grant the other without hesitation. Tiger and horse worship each other. They never doubt each other and therefore their relationship lasts until the end of their lives.
so what about you? curious about your relationship? or is it.. a relationsh*t?
If you're having doubts.. perfect time to re evaluate is Now! nobody deserves to be miserable.
Because, somebody out there might just be the perfect match made in heaven for you.. :)
Goodbye 2012! I am so glad to see you go, hello 2013! It is so nice to meet you! Will you be good to me? I certainly hope so!
I am such a fan of Chinese astrology and just like most people do when a New year is about to start, surf the web again I go as I try to see what this year has in store for me, and..
Read about this and understood more why me and my sweetheart are crazy about each other.. because sometimes you can't find a reason why right? just a coincidence? maybe! but it's still a good read.
Often, we always believe what we want to believe anyway.. oh well.. as long as it is favorable I guess, right?
me in the Horse year and sweetheart in the Tiger year. here goes...
Horse and Tiger
This relationship lives of its extreme erotic passion which is by far not all it is made of! But generally it is the sexual attraction which makes the difference here. On base of this connection a deep and mutual respectful partnership emerges. Something both will grant the other without hesitation. Tiger and horse worship each other. They never doubt each other and therefore their relationship lasts until the end of their lives.
so what about you? curious about your relationship? or is it.. a relationsh*t?
If you're having doubts.. perfect time to re evaluate is Now! nobody deserves to be miserable.
Because, somebody out there might just be the perfect match made in heaven for you.. :)
Monday, September 24
Please don't stop the music!!
Are you one of those people who can never live without music? I am!
If this question is being asked in a classroom, the scenario would probably be me raising my hand and shouting with a big meeee!
Music is one of those things I would never survive living without, It has helped me go through stormy weathers, made me fall in love, calmed my fiery emotions, and turned my not so beautiful days into the most relaxing scenes ever. It's like my own personal oasis, and so I thought, why not find ways on how I can share my music to my fellow moms out there?
Armed with only the internet, and with a little help of course from my friends mozilla, yahoo, google and youtube, I came up with this online radio widget from radio tuna.
I customized my widget with my own favorite genre of music, like on the select music style button, there's the smoothjazz, which is really my kind of music, and to be honest? I can go on 24 hours a day just listening to it. In the morning as soon as I wake up, the first thing that I do is to turn on some music, it somehow gives me energy to do all the chores intended for the day, and I will never ever get tired listening to this kind of music, It's relaxing, and whenever you feel upset? just try and listen to smoothjazz and I can guarantee your actions will have a favorable outcome. What about some really sexy smoothjazz music? I am so sure its enough motivation to get that romantic mood going hmmm!
The second music style button that I selected is acoustic, because sometimes you also long for music that has lyrics in it? the type that you can actually sing along with.
The third one is bass music, this type of music is the one that I listen to whenever I'm working out, it gets me all fired up and motivates me for more time to do my exercise, sometimes routine is done, but then again you hear some big pounding bass music and you will feel the urge to workout some more in the form of dancing, and that's really good stuff for our body.
To sum it all up, music is life.. so why not stay tuned on dearmum online radio all day? happy listening mommiesss! ooopss! and daddysss too! yeah, why not?
If this question is being asked in a classroom, the scenario would probably be me raising my hand and shouting with a big meeee!
Music is one of those things I would never survive living without, It has helped me go through stormy weathers, made me fall in love, calmed my fiery emotions, and turned my not so beautiful days into the most relaxing scenes ever. It's like my own personal oasis, and so I thought, why not find ways on how I can share my music to my fellow moms out there?
Armed with only the internet, and with a little help of course from my friends mozilla, yahoo, google and youtube, I came up with this online radio widget from radio tuna.
I customized my widget with my own favorite genre of music, like on the select music style button, there's the smoothjazz, which is really my kind of music, and to be honest? I can go on 24 hours a day just listening to it. In the morning as soon as I wake up, the first thing that I do is to turn on some music, it somehow gives me energy to do all the chores intended for the day, and I will never ever get tired listening to this kind of music, It's relaxing, and whenever you feel upset? just try and listen to smoothjazz and I can guarantee your actions will have a favorable outcome. What about some really sexy smoothjazz music? I am so sure its enough motivation to get that romantic mood going hmmm!
The second music style button that I selected is acoustic, because sometimes you also long for music that has lyrics in it? the type that you can actually sing along with.
The third one is bass music, this type of music is the one that I listen to whenever I'm working out, it gets me all fired up and motivates me for more time to do my exercise, sometimes routine is done, but then again you hear some big pounding bass music and you will feel the urge to workout some more in the form of dancing, and that's really good stuff for our body.
To sum it all up, music is life.. so why not stay tuned on dearmum online radio all day? happy listening mommiesss! ooopss! and daddysss too! yeah, why not?
Thursday, September 13
love is always stronger than pride..
September.. do you remember?
My son invited me for an afternoon snack at the Festival mall in Alabang a couple of days ago, he doesn't get off until 2pm, got there much earlier so that I could still walk around, and probably do some window shopping too, walking in the mall is one of the few forms of exercise where I could go on for hours and not feel any exhaustion, that's what my dear husband always tell me, most specially when the whole place is filled up with big banners of red bold letters in the name of "SALE," and I would just kiss him in his cheeks, we would go separate ways, he doesn't want to follow me around, you know how women likes to keep checking out for best deals, he would just sit some place where there would probably be music playing, or lots of times, I would find him watching a "blind band" playing, he would be patiently waiting for me there, I just have to make sure that I come back for him when its time to eat, he hates feeling hungry. It's simple moments like these that I miss most, since he spends most of the year working onboard, but, whenever he's on vacation? we're inseparable!
I was looking into some nice pashmina shawls, trying to feel the fabric if it was really authentic, when I see a familiar face walking right towards me, our eyes meet, almost running, screaming my name, she gave me a very tight embrace, seeing your childhood friend whom you haven't seen for like 20yrs or so is really cool!
We decided to continue our chit chat at Max's, she said she craves so much for filipino food, she's been working overseas as a nurse and is just on a 10day leave to attend to some very important family matters.
While waiting for our food, I asked her how she is and how is.. but, by then she immediately interrupted me and tells me that she and her husband are back together again. Naturally, I was shocked to hear that, I didn't know that they even separated in the first place, but I'm quite relieved to hear that at least they are together again, she then asks me how I am, and of course I told her that I'm good and that my husband and I are not together, she stopped stirring her iced tea upon hearing that, but then I told her that its only because husband is currently onboard, she laughs and tells me that I never change and that I'm still a very silly girl.
What followed that laughing moment is a sudden change of mood, she sadly narrates how just when their family's financial situations improved, her relationship with her husband turned bitter, I have some questions going through my head but did not want to interrupt her, I just listened to her instead.
She said that nothing hurts more to know that your husband to whom you have been married for twenty five years has been cheating on you. You think you know each other well, they're childhood sweethearts, and their families are friends too, never in her mind did she ever imagine that her husband would do a thing like that to her. Though she thinks she's partly to be blamed for it, (at the back of my mind I was thinking, most women whose husbands cheat, always try to blame themselves one way or the other).
I tried to lighten her up by saying, hey, don't think much about it and that there's no shame in accepting him back, you have children and they need their father. I even teased her that maybe love is rosier the second time around, and she asks me with a tearful eye.. how do you compete with someone much much younger than you lyn?, I didn't know what to say.. so I started sipping my buco pandan shake instead and I almost finished it with just one sip, that is some brain freezing moment!
A few hours passed, and its time to say goodbye, she has her errands and so do I, she gave me one big hug again, I asked her if she has facebook so that we could get in touch, she said she doesn't have one and that she's not comfortable with it anyway, she promised to write me old school snail mail way, and I told her I would love that, a few steps away and she heads back at me, and she says, one final piece of advice from a woman who's seen it all.. always remember lyn, you can relax... but, never let your guard down! and as I watch her walk away from me, I thought no one is immune.
A few moments later my son arrived and he asks me where I wanted to eat, he works now at the hotel and that he wants to treat me for a snack for a change, I can't help but feel proud that he has a job and that he's now being responsible. I told him how I accidentally met with an old friend of mine and that I am still quite full, but because I didn't want to let him down, I just opted for a blueberry cheesecake at sbarro's instead. I can't help but stare at him while he was eating, I told him about my friend's story and that how lucky we were to never have to experience those kind of heartaches as a family.
I kept thinking.. marriage is the foundation of a family, if it is weak... the whole family collapses, and that two people vowed to go through this journey forever, they should work hard to make things work, fix small problems while you still can, they can magnify any moment, even if it means saying sorry first, remember.. love, should always be stronger than pride...
"to catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job"
Simone de Beauvoir
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